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The term Happy New Year has taken on new relevance.
Celine Dion’s five-year reign of terror over the Las Vegas strip has finally ended. Her final performance at Caesars Palace is scheduled for December 15th. We think we should take thiz as a sign of good things to come in the year ahead. We?re talking about things we never dreamed would come to pass! Things that will fill our hearts with hope for our future and those of our kids. We?re speaking metaphorically here?we actually aren?t that fond of children. Still, we?re hoping for more developments that will put a bounce in our step and a song in our heart (just not one of Celine?s). We?re looking for something that will make us smash our Smiths records. (No worries, we put them all on our iPod years ago).

Here’s our carefully considered list of whimsical fantasies we’d like to see fulfilled in the wake of the liberation of Las Vegas for good and decent degenerates. Let us know if you think we missed any of the essentials:

• A Britney comeback?because the former Amrica?s sweetheart now looks like a poster child for Amrica?s Most Wanted.
• A Gilmore Girls renaissance. They took away Arrested Development, Freaks and Geeks never had a chance, and The O.C. is now D.O.A. We NEED Gilmore Girls to stop sucking and return to its early whip-smart glory.
• A Pavement reunion. No explanation necessary. We’re gunning for Coachella 2007 as the time and the place. Or?in our cousin?s den. He?s got awesome acoustics. Whatever they prefer.
• Better personal hygiene. We?re starting to get a bit rank?just sayin?.