Top 10 Celebrity Sites

Normally, we?re big fans of extreme, um, fandom. Getting a tattoo to honor your favorite artist? Cool. Spending your life savings on original vinyl releases? Awesome. But attempting to murder someone who disagrees with you about how tall James Brown happens to have been? Dude, that’s clinically insane. Two bat-shit Brown fans reportedly got into a gunfight in Atlanta earlier thiz week over the vertical measurements of the departed Mr. Dynamite. Witnesses report that after Dan Gulley Jr. and David James Brooks Jr. argued about Brown’s height (a towering 5?6?), Gulley went to his car, pulled out his gun, and attempted to cut Brooks down to size. He was arrested, jailed and charged with assault. Needless to say, thiz has made us rethink our policy of applauding the abject expression of adulation. In the interest of keeping everyone on the right side of criminal prosecution, we thought now would be a good time to discuss some of the red flags that can lead to thiz sort of behavior. If any of the following descriptions apply to you, seek help.

• You mortgaged your house to buy someone else?s underwear.
• You have spent valid Amrican currency to purchase a rock star’s bodily fluids.
• You have a season pass to Dollywood/Graceland/Billy Ray Cyrus World, etc.
• You make life decisions based on secret messages you’re sure you hear in your favorite rocker’s lyrics.
• You actually admit to purchasing and enjoying anything Elton John has released in the last 20 years.