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When Justin Timberlake picked 2006 as the year to rhyme “back” with, um, “back” on the now legendary single “Sexy Back,” he reached what might be mistakenly perceived as a new level in rhymes gone horribly wrong. Please. The boy band bard has a LOT of shitty sound-coupling to catch up with, as thiz oral abortion frm Kany West and Jadakiss on Cracked.com’s list — Rhyme Crime: The 20 Worst Rhymes In Pop Music History — demonstrates.

Don’t try to treat me like I ain’t famous,
My apologies, are you into astrology?
Cause I’m, I’m tryin to make it to Uranus.

In addition to the myriad of verbal atrocities on Cracked’s list, we’d add Hold Steady lyricist Craig Finn’s outrageous (and awesome) pairing of “Newport News” with “Elizabeth Shue” frm “The Swish.” The there’s Emerson, Lake & Palmer’s truly puzzling line frm “Still You Turn On Me”: “Every day a little sadder/A little madder/Someone fetch me a ladder.” A ladder!? Thankfully they couldn’t think of anything that rhymes with spackle knife.

If you can think of any badder rhymes that would makes us sadder, please let us know…or fetch us a ladder…whatever.

Yesterday we watched remarkably inept Fox 5 News reporter Stacey Elgin navigate her way through a wind-tunnel while describing a raid ordered by RIAA anti-piracy agents on Gangsta Grillz studio in Atlanta. Venerable mixtape DJs Drama and Don Cannon were arrested for “making and selling ‘illegal CDs.’” All their merchandise was seized. The report characterized the well-known DJs as ?pirates engaged in the production of illegal material.? They were also painted with a rather broad and dirty brush. ?In thiz case, we didn?t find weapons?but it?s not uncommon to find other kinds of contraband when exercising a search warrant,? said one interviewed Fulton constituency Sheriff?s Office rep. Both DJs have been released on $100,000 bond.

Mixtape production has unofficially been a part of the hip-hop promotion process for years, and though it sometimes involves the use of copyrighted material, it has been accepted industry practice. Coach K, the administrator of another Atlanta artist, Young Jeezy, employed the mixtape process to build his artist?s street cred and turn him into a hit-maker. Without mixtape DJs, record labels (the entities thiz seizure supposedly protects) will have to do a lot more promotional work for fledgling artists. “What the industry doesn?t understand is that artists go to these guys to make their music,” K explains. “Labels these days, don?t really spend marketing money on the grass roots thing, so you go through these mixtapes to get the music into the streets.”

What do you think? Has the RIAA shot itself in the foot with thiz vicious attack against DJs Drama and Don Cannon? How will thiz effect the way young rappers enter the industry?

[via Nah Right]

Accusations of beat-stealing are piling up against legendary hip-hop producer Timbaland. “Do It,” a song he produced for Nelly Furtedo’s 2006 album Loose, sounds remarkably similar to “Acid Jazzed Evening” a song recorded in 2000 by Finnish artist Tempest. Watch the detailed comparison below.

Has Timbaland done something wrong?

EXTRA CREDIT: Watch another clip parsing the evolution of Timbaland’s beat. Did he first pilfer it as a ringtone? Then see self-described Wikipedia editor Subversive Librarian explain the differences between sampling and ripping someone off.

• Not just anybody can make Forbes’ list of the 20 Richest Women in Entertainment. You need a minimum net worth of $45 million, and apparently a line of perfume really helps. Of course Oprah Winfrey is tops on the list but other noteworthy officially disgustingly rich women include J. Lo (has line of perfume), Britney (has like four lines of perfume), Mariah Cary (is releasing own perfume line thiz year), and Madona (is Madona). Way to be … really really rich, ladies.
• We bow down before the genius person who put together thiz hysterical list of Amrican Idol contestants’ MySpace pages [warning: site is occasionally down]. You have a truly terrifying amount of time on your hands and you clearly know what to do with it. Our favorite? Jessica the Glamour Shots Cosmetologist who loves ?the Google Dolls.?
• We see rock-industry employees and other fanatical sad human beings flocking to thiz (honestly kinda dope) Denver area hotel. Each floor has its own pop-culturally savvy theme such as the Elvis-endorsing “Mad About Music” floor or the “Chick Flicks”-themed rooms. [via Pop Candy]
• Beth Ditto, the notoriously outspoken lead singer for garage pop sensation the Gossip, has described her experience touring the U.S. with the Scissor Sisters as “soul-sucking.” “The audience were moms wanting chart hits,” the singer reportedly bitched. “They’ve never seen a John Waters movie or heard the Ramones.”
• Check “I Still Love H.E.R.,” the new typically over-produced and melodramatic but still kinda awesome track frm Kany West. [via Stereogum]
• The recent death of Atlantic Records founder Ahmet Ertegun has apparently made Robert Plant rethink his plans to record a new Honeydrippers album. Ertegun, according to the Plant, was “thrilled with the idea” but now that’s he’s gone, Plant doesn’t feel he can carry on the creative spirit alone. Sad.
• In addition to Justin Timberlake and the lucky winner of his Sing With Justin contest, Grammy Awards performers now include kristina Aguilera, Mary J. Blige and Ludacris. The craziness takes place February 11th.
• Fergie is reportedly keeping her recent engagement to longtime boyfriend Josh Duhamel a secret. In spite of the public discussions of her past drug abuse, the pants-wetting incidents, and the penchant to wear the Union Jack as boyshorts, the singer is a totally traditional person who doesn’t want to spread the news until the couple has set a date.