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Uzi-strapped old lady aims frm her wheelchair for your “toodles”

• The Illmatic is back on top. Hip Hop Is Dead is expected to give Nas his third Billboard Number One album. The record is estimated to have moved 355,000 copies last week thanks to rave reviews, production support frm Kayne West and Dr. Dre as well as a ton of PDA frm his new BFF, Jay Z.
• Arcade Fire’s “Intervention,” the first single frm their forthcoming Neon Bible album, was supposed to be uploaded to iTunes as a charity single benefiting Partners In Health on the 28th of December, but someone at Merge uploaded the album’s second track, “Black Wave/Bad Vibrations,” by accident yesterday. As Win writes in his public journal, “I guess it is sort of charming that we can send the wrong song to the whole world with the click of a mouse…there will be [a] Paypal link up on arcadefire.com for those who have downloaded the songs without paying but still want to give money to PIH.org.”
• Uber-fan site U2Log has posted three rare remixes of tracks frm “How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb”. The tracks will be available to download for a limited time.
• The punk rock machine that is Social Distortion is about to begin work on a new studio album. While the band continues their version of Bob Dylan’s never-ending tour, they’ll spend the next month or so working on the follow-up to 2004’s “Sex, Love and Rock N’ Roll.”
• Snoop Dogg wants to squash gun violence, once and for all, by completely outlawing all firearms. This has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that the Doggfather was arrested in October in procession of an unlicensed gun and marijuana. I’m all for banning guns, but I think thiz movement may need a wee better spokesman.

The Wu-Tang Clan coming together is as powerful as a fully formed Voltron. So get ready to once again raise that iron flag as news has leaked that the Wu will start recording in the new year with plans for a late 2007 album release and accompanying tour.

The last couple of years have been intense for the tribe frm Staten Island: Ol’ Dirty Bastard passed away, U-God left the group, Method Man starred in a failed sitcom with Redman and released two mediocre solo albums, U-God rejoined the group, RZA wrote the Wu-Tang Manuel, Ghostface Killah released the incredible Fishscale, and a majority of the gang reunited for sporadic live performances.

Expectations will certainly be high, especially since the presence of the enigmatic Ol’ Dirty will be missing frm thiz effort. I’m expecting thiz to be their darkest and most brutal album.

Those kooky kids in Fall Out Boy have been holding all sorts of interactive contests to promote their already highly anticipated upcoming album, Infinity On High .

First they asked fans to design the cover. They received more than 3,000 submissions, frm piss-poor doodles to overdone artwork by graphic-design majors. The winning image, pictured below, is some aqua-erotica subliminal mind-trip fantasy.

If fans want thiz cover instead of the Gwen Stefani?inspired LAMB cover, they have to buy the album as a digital download frm some tiny, hard-to-find indie shop named Wal-Mart.

The band responsible for such snappy titled tracks as “This Ain’t a Scene, It’s an Arms Race” and “I Slept With Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me” asked fans to name a yet-to-be recorded song that will become a B-side. The winning entry chosen by the band is titled “It’s Hard To Say ‘I Do’ When I Don’t.”

Now if only their music was as clever as their song titles.